Interview about manipulation in companies by Usine Nouvelle

Psychologist Ariane Bilheran is the author of the french book Manipulation, How to Spot It, How to Protect Yourself (Armand Colin). In it, she shows that manipulation doesn't just affect private life, but can also wreak havoc within companies. She explains why manipulation ultimately harms the company by relegating the group's interests to the background.

L'Usine Nouvelle - Whenever we try to get something from someone, aren't we engaging in manipulation? In other words, isn't it a necessary evil?

Ariane Bilheran - No, because we need to distinguish between two concepts: the influence you're talking about and manipulation. Obviously, in social life, in business, we try to get others to do things they wouldn't do spontaneously. To do this, we use influence, we try to convince, we share our vision, we engage in dialogue. The fundamental difference between the two is respect for the other. The manipulator acts as if the other doesn't exist, while the influencer gives the other free will.

Based on your experience, you report that manipulation in business is on the rise. What factors explain this increase?

Manipulation often progresses in contexts where insecurity increases. This could be the takeover of one company by another or, more generally, the economic context. In these situations, where one feels fear, the reflex may be to pull the blanket over oneself. Manipulation is born from fear, from a feeling of insecurity. For the company, this is a real problem, because an employee who seeks their own interest above all forgets that of the company, and the "win-win" logic is abandoned.

Precisely, by putting pressure on their employees, don't companies sometimes give the impression that they are authorizing manipulation, with an implicit message of the type "everything is permitted as long as it brings results"?

In the short term, we can achieve results this way, and indeed manipulative personalities can have the upper hand. A manipulator can be someone who will appropriate the results obtained by others, monopolize the work of his team. In the medium term, however, the effects of these behaviors are much less certain, because it will have effects on the atmosphere of a department, the links between people... and affect cohesion. A manipulator deteriorates relationships between people. They will distrust each other, hence alliances, time spent developing strategies to counter manipulation, to speak ill of each other. Very often, in this kind of atmosphere, employees send emails, prepare files to cover themselves. To summarize, a lot of time that should be devoted to work is lost in secret meetings and intrigues.

How can a management or HR department spot a manipulator?

Rather, it's the effects of the manipulator's behavior that can be identified, because manipulation must be invisible to be effective. Signs that should prompt questions include team divisions, complaints from members of a group, and difficulties encountered by a manager. Manipulation is rarely the work of an isolated person; it exists because others allow it to happen.

How do you know if you have a manipulative boss or, conversely, if you are being managed? How do you spot a colleague who is?

You have to listen to yourself, learn to identify your negative emotions and ask yourself whether or not your own behavior has changed. If you have thoughts like "normally I wouldn't have reacted like that", you have to question yourself. For a manager, if you spend half your time with a single person, this can also be a sign, a first warning. But also, if you feel excessively guilty, indebted, if you suddenly start to devalue yourself, etc. Any anomaly compared to usual emotions and behaviors, without specific events having occurred, can be the beginning of a warning.

The second warning comes when the person no longer feels able to think, when they can no longer do so. This may be the result of manipulation, where one is bombarded with contradictory messages, or of subtle and gradual brainwashing.

You warn in your book: the manipulator will seek to elicit confidences to assert his control. What then should be done if the one who wants to help is the one who is harming?

Of course, you shouldn't distrust everyone, especially since in these situations, it is absolutely necessary to talk about it, to gain some distance, to realize that your behavior is altered. Above all, you must be wary of the person who presents himself as a savior who can solve all problems. It is better to confide in people whose trust has been verified over time, a long-time friend, someone who does not work in the same company, an outside professional (psychologist, coach) who will take care to analyze the situation with you, without judgment or inappropriate affect, or bias.

Interview by Christophe Bys